Type A?

I'm in school for the spring semester. I heard it was hard. I also heard it was easy. So I took my chances and gambled on medium. But I have since discovered that it is actually pretty hard - not "hard" but alot of work. I'm behind already and at this pace it will take me a full 48 hours or reading and studying to catch up. We have a midterm on thursday - ALREADY! I missed the first day of school due to a Vegas trip so for me, there has only been 3 classes and now I'm being tested. OMG. On my days out of school I am working. In the evening playing soccer and attempting to take time out for social activities that seem to pile up this time of year. On Sunday was my only "true" day off. I had nothing planned except to read a chapter of my book which I accomplished while enjoying the beautiful sunshine. At the end of Sunday I was exhausted! I couldn't figure out why I was so tired since I hadn't done anything all day. Then my mom suggested it was due to an entire weeks worth of business without rest. Maybe she was right. But it won't slow down anytime soon - I'll just have to maximize my time management and efficiency and hope I don't have some kind of mental break down. Just looking forward to the summer!

Friendship Woes

Man. I wish my friends could see how their drama between eachother effects my life. I feel like they don't even consider my feelings... I'm always stuck in the middle, trying to maintain a level head... I don't want to have to worry about the akwardness of hanging out with two people who have decided they don't like eachother due to plans made before this happened. It's not fair to me. I wish they would have just been honest in the first place so I could've made different decisions. It's not my job to mediate a fight that isnt mine. It's not my fight and I don't want anything to do with it. I just want people to put aside their differences for at least one night as a favor to me OR to decide themselves whether or not they want to back out. I shouldn't be put in a position of "taking sides" or being asked without words to "uninvite" people. It makes me feel like people don't appreciate my gesture of inviting them (which makes it slightly easier to take sides if this is only coming from one end) and would rather force their problems on me. Solve your own issues. This is not my problem. As far as I'm concerned everything is fine and dandy and things will go along as planned - but as reality suggests otherwise - please take a step up and either make my denile truth or change the plans on your own.

why the F*** did I do that?

They say the full moon makes people do weird stuff... perhaps I've fallen victim to its effects... or maybe once you "lose innocence" you can't go very long without your body taking over your mind (or something to that effect) and exepriencing the forbidden fruit over and over again. It's sounds more romantic that way. It wasn't. It included zero romance. It was solely for the pleasure of the body and to feed the curiousity that was nothing more than exactly what was expected... not disapointing, just not new. Not... special? In the hours since I've discovered something my heart already knew. My mind just needed evidence to believe it because that's what happens when you're conditioned by science. It was like I made a decision and immediately after another decision (although less crucial) that directly contrasted the first. This proved to me that the later decision was more fulfilling. And so in one way, while I sit here "regretting" doing "that" I also sit here with a new (or maybe renewed) perspective, thinking about how much more satisfying it is to "share life" (through deep converstation, laughter, and experience) than to feed the desires of the body. But I can't undo what has been done, so I must move forward and live and hold on to this new clarity I've found and hope for the best. On another note, my other confusions continue... why do ex's always have to say and do things that make me feel confused again? I guess that's another story.