Second Mother's Day

There should be two mother's days in the year... at least!
I just want to thank my mom because she is so great. She's always there to listen when I experience some kind of emotional turmoil, then she makes me feel better and puts things into perspective. Some how she just has all this wisdom. And if that wasn't enough she's an excellent cook and on thanksgiving this year, made a huge amazing feast!! There was an awesome pumpkin cake (and pumpkin pies) to finish off with too. Wow. I just feel so amazed about my mom right now. THANK YOU!!!!

Conflict Thoery

I just finished writing a midterm for a sociology class (Social Cultural Perspective in Sport). Sociology is extremely interesting and opens the mind to look at the world from various angles. I did sociology as a first year option and was equally excited by many of the theories and ideas (except for the pedagogy part which was very dry) as I am in this kinesiology focused version of the subject. I'll just dive right in now... calgary is a very functionalist society (I guess this is very similar to saying conservative as it was once known - we like the status quo). The culture here promotes competition and meritocracy. Most of the time we like the way things are and believe that that's how they should be so that society can run "efficiently". Perhaps consequencial differences like ability, intelligence, education, and economic status are maintained here in the name of the economy. Rewarding those who have higher education (such as engineers) with high salaries in oil companies is an example. As a kid I was taught that this was a good thing because those who worked harder should get more rewards and this would encourage healthy competition, motivation and drive, and keep the economy stable or growing. If work was not rewarded according to its value and ability required, those who "slacked off" would be encouraged to do so, and those who worked hard would have a lack of motivation after noticing they would get the same reward regardless of effort. Then the economy would fail, affecting other aspects of society and ultimately everyone's quality fo life. Yes, this is a very functionalist idea. And yes it seems like a bad thing when considered from the perspective of disadvantaged people, but society has been built around these ideals and has provided those who comply with it a decent to above average quality of life. Like any label, there are pros and cons. This is just a little bit of background to segway (haha segway...) into my conflict theory argument/rant. I have a bone to pick with the university. It's about my field of study and how it is burdened (in my opinion) by functionalist ideals when it comes to elite athletes. My interest in kinesiology partially stems from a motivation to "help" people, or rather, contribute to society in a positive way that I also find ejoyable. As I'm sure everyone has already heard, there is an obesity epidemic in north america... the risk of many chronic diseases and ailments is increased or caused by obesity and many many deaths can be attributed to lifestyles that promote these diseases, including obesity. It is my job as a person trained in practitioning healthy lifestyle choices (such as exercise and nutrition) to go out in the world and take action with the hopeful consequence of preventing/reducing chronic disease, changing the distribution of healthcare funds and ultimately improving people's quality of life (big goals!). BUT .... How can I do this if the university has this annoying tendency to focus on elite athlete performance? Yes, elite athletes are important for studying biomechanics, or performance psychology, and yes they are important for funding, government/country recognition (consider olympics), but they are lab rats. That's not supposed to be an insult... I mean, they are not gernalizable to the majority, to the public. The are a limited population who are more than likely already biased in some way (which is why they had the motivation, the athletic ability, maybe the money and time to become elite). They provide very little insight about the general public - most people don't have the time, money, or motivation not only to become elite at a sport, but in most cases even to engage in enough activity to meet canada's recommended amount for good health. From a conflic theory perspective, I would argue that the functionlist attitude of meritocracy has ignored the underdogs and dedicated too much time and money to the "elite". Maybe this is attitude contributes to health issues in society. Maybe people do not exercise enough because they don't see it as applicable to their life. Elite athlete's lives revolve around training, and goal setting, and finding ways to improve. This knowledge and could be utilized by the general public to employ life improvement strategies that are fed to elite athlete on silver spoons. Why not invest the time and resources into the greater population and equally benefit society?? Why are strategies to improve elite performance crammed into our brains yet there are few ooportunities to apply this knowledge. Majority of the students will be working with the general public anyways... why not focus on strategies to help the everyday person?
A small aside about my practicum and how it relates to my discussion above. Unfortunately I can't give out too many details but I can say that although the majority of the technology and programs available or underdevelopment are geared toward... guess who!! the elite athletes, I was inspired to think of ways that it can be modifyed and used by "real" people. I can't believe how much I learned already about technology and how it can be applied to the world of sport... or in my case instructors...
If you haven't already figured it out (or know already), conflict theory suggests that inequalities in society should be adressed and changed for the betterment of society. They are the antagonists to functionalists (who don't want change, and believe things are as they should be even if it promotes inequalities). While I might be a functionalist when it comes to the workplace (jobs and careers) I am a conflictionist when it comes to health and opportunities.

Random thought (as though this wasn't long enough): today I watched a presentation on some nutrition research currently being done with obesity in rats. I find it hard to come up with good questions for researchers and all I could think of while I looked at the picture of the really fat rat was "wouldn't it be funny to see him dancing... should i ask if that rat likes to dance?" I wonder what kind of weird look I would've received if I asked that as though it was a very serious question.... *insert laughing to myself here...*

Another Letter.

I will begin by summing up in one word: ANGRY.

There is nothing left to salvage. The foundations of this friendship have been completely destroyed. I feel my trust has been shattered. The most recent events have allowed me to step back and think and this is what I found. Maybe one thing I can thank you for is taking the lid off the bottle and allowing me to escape. So many things I was angry about and kept bottled inside. I never had the courage to speak up. I felt that you would not understand and would take offence, making it my fault - speaking up would only escalate the situation.
I walked on glass, afraid to make one wrong move. I was afraid to live my life freely because anything I did would have some effect on you and would almost always come with a punishment.

So many times I felt like I only had your conditional support. Everytime I started a new relationship I was never met with support or understanding, but instead critical comments and guilt trips. I recall a time when you said to me "I hope your relationship fails". This was one of the first times I realized that you were not a true friend because a person who cared about me would never wish for me to be hurt. There were several incidents in the past few years where you accused me of ditching you before anything had even occurred (and I had no intention of doing so), or canceled events to prevent me from coming because I invited my boyfriend. You accused me of not spending enough time with my friends when I had seen you at least once a week and sometimes more on purpose just so that you wouldn't feel that way. I felt like you did not appreciate the amount of time and energy I spent balancing my time with you with the rest of life. It was like nothing I did was ever enough because there was always a lecture or a stabbing comment coming my way. Many times I felt like I was being tested and if I didn't call you within a exceptable time frame only known to you it indicated a failure of my frienship. There have been times you surprise attacked me when I didn't even know you were angry. You say you don't like being fake but you pretend not to be angry or that you are okay with things and then suddenly explode and wonder why no one knew. You have no idea the amount of stress the uncertaintly of conflict has caused me. Never knowing if what I do is going to start a drama, even if it is not related to you at all.
In the beggining your dramas were confined to your home life and other friends. Later on they began to be directed at me, and worse at my friends or our mutual friends. I realized this past spring that I can not tell you anything. I confided in you several times only to have my words and quotes, immediately twisted and used as fuel to hurt my friends. I decided that I would never confide in you again because you could not be trusted to keep what I said confidential or respect me enough to realize your "spazzes" would affect my relationships with my other friends and their trust in me. I've never had to apologize so much in my life for things I said in confidence to you. My new perspective on you as being untrustworthy was further enforced when you began forwarding Dan's text messages to me, proving that you were direspectful not just to me but to others as well. I am also angry about the comments you made about my friend Herish and what you told the boys about them which I believe was very ignorant.
Most recently, aside from embarrassing me in public, you attempted to shun me from our friends and accused me of inviting myself along because of what I can only imagine is due to my affiliation with Dan, and my refusal to obey your wishes that I not be with him. My feelings were completely disregarded - you gave me an ultimatum, either you or him. f you are that selfish and uncaring about how I feel than the choice is much easier. You were unwilling to put aside your differences with people you didn't get along with in many instances of our friendship but this situation was probably the most imparitive.
At the theater you asked if I valued our friendship but after contemplating all that I have just written down (and more) it seems that sadly the answer is clear. No, I do not value lack of trust, lack of support, lack of communication and selfishness. There are many more specific incidents I could bring up, many very redundant, but the emotions I have about them are already summed up in this letter. In conclusion, I believe this friendship is over.

I hope that my words have had an impact on your feelings about this situation. I know this situation has provided me with a new outlook on what is important in a frienship and who my true friends really are. I wish you all the best in the future.

Sincerely,
T