Tainted Olive Branch

Yesterday my mom told me she saw one of my "old friends" (or should I say... most recent - possibly only - enemy) out for dinner with her family. They exchanged hellos and my mother spoke with her mother. She later informed me of this which I found interesting. I had no real emotion about it. For the most part I try and be positive, hope for the best for that individual and her family, but otherwise keep my distance.

Then... fairly predictably, another mutual friend of this person my mom saw, called me. I immediately knew why he was calling and was not surprised considering this event might be considered a "tremor" in a long since dormant volcano (anything for a little media eh?). He told me that he had met up with that ex-friend of mine and she told him about seeing my mom and how my mom had told her that I had finished school but was still looking for a job... (deerrrr... MOM what the heck? You're supposed to tell my foes that I'm living well and doing awesome - there's nothing like having the motto "there is no revenge like living well" busted.)

The ex-friend had told him to pass on the word to me that there is a job opening at the seniors home where she works for a kinesiologist and that she "would be glad" to pass on my resume. My first reaction to this news was "fuck that. I'm not walking into that trap." (it only seems logical that a person who is holding a grudge against you and finds happiness in your misery would take advantage of any opportunity they had...). My friend seemed annoyed at my reaction suggesting that she sounded sincere and it was a good opportunity. I realized my mistake in revealing my initial thoughts as I'm sure they weren't flattering on me, but replied by saying I'd probably pass because I didn't really want to work in a seniors home anyways...

The problem is that the past relationship I had with that person had been tarnished by broken trust and a series of unnecessary drama fabricated by that person. How could I ever see this as some kind of olive branch? She had already proven she was capable of first degree drama during our friendship - drama that literally seemed planned out. Although predictable in some cases due to her explosive nature, it was also very systematic, and there always seemed to be a hidden agenda. She had also proved that she believed in revenge and successfully orchestrated it on numerous occasions stating afterward that she "had got her revenge".

The conversation put a bug in my ear that began slowly burrowing into my brain. Maybe she had succeeded in her plan solely by telling him to pass on the message to me, predicting I would turn it down for the very reason I did... now she looks like a nice person, the bigger person, and I look like the one holding a grudge, refusing a job and a connection due to past grievences... there is no way to tell that story and not sound immature for turning down the opportunity. If I tell my parents or anyone else they will say "oh, maybe she wants to apologize, or be friends again." If only someone (there are others actually, others who witnessed what I did) who would see it my way. After all, do I not have a valid reason not to trust someone who has a history of being deviant and for lack of a better word, mean?

Inspiration

Today and last Saturday I went to the ranch with my mom to visit her horse. The ranch is almost magical. It's located in water valley, a beautiful area in Alberta about an hour NE of Calgary with abundant wildlife. When I go there I feel a sense of fullness - like everything a person needs to live comfortably is there. It's peaceful, no city distractions, lots of wilderness and space, and lots of love. The lady who owns the ranch is a very interesting person, and I often think that it was a great blessing for my mom and her to meet and bond over their passion for horses. It's almost like she gives a positive energy to the world. She's very spiritual, a vegetarian, a believer in animal rights and she treats her animals (dogs, chickens, cats, horses, etc.) like family and with great care. You can tell the animals are loved and are healthy and happy because they are so friendly, calm, and tolerant of each other. The Dog's and cats get along, they don't bother the chickens either, and the horses enjoy their company as well. One of the details that I especially find inspirational is the Tibetan prayer flags that she has hung on the tack-room eves. This is the area where everyone meets and brings their horses to feed and brush. My mom bought her those flags for a gift and I truly believe it has added a new level of peace and positivity to the atmosphere there.

Her house is also very unique. It is very open and filled with relics from the travels of he children - especially things from India and with spiritual significance. She gets along without buying many new things - something I very much admire in a person and hope to cultivate in myself (slowly but surely - I am working on it). There are sheets of fine material that hang from the ceiling that act

as "dividers" (I use this loosely because they simply hang in front of the bed and very vaguely separate rooms in a wide open basement) . The light passing through is orange and pink and creates a romantic and exotic ambiance. It feels as though you have stepped into another country - like creativity and energy in the cloths are filling the room with foreign music and prayers.

The floor is carpeted with pieces of old carpet patched together to cover the cement. Then larger beautiful rugs cover the spaces between the pieces of carpet. The beds have very comfortable looking sheets to top it off.

It's a very inspiration place that makes me want to start doing art again. I've been trying to get back into it for awhile now.