Last night we went to another healing session. I enjoy the meditative atmosphere.. It's very relaxing and that is just what I need. After today I may need it more!
This morning I had an interview at a physio clinic for an assistant position. I got the job immediately however they may not be able to "afford" me. Apparently I'm over qualified and the pay is actually intended for students. They said it was up to me if I'd be willing to take a pay cut. The pay cut is a lot more than I'm willing to take, unfortunately. It's time to start living independently which costs moola... and less than what I make at my current part time job just won't do the trick. Now I have to figure out how to respectfully decline.
Now here is the story of my crazy day: woke up early thinking I would have to drive for an hour in traffic to get to the interview on time. It only took me 20 minutes and so I was an hour and fifteen minutes early... I decided to fix my radio which was messed up from the death of my car battery yesterday. Once I finished that I realized it was getting a bit chilly in the car so I decided I'd driver around a bit while I wait... BUT my car wouldn't start. The battery was dead again. Luckily I was already at the interview place. So I just played brick breaker on my phone for half an hour,
After the interview I walked over to Good Earth cafe while I waited for my parent's to save me. The computer was down and there was only one staff member. Consequentially, although I was only second in line, I waited for 15 minutes to get a candy cane hot chocolate which ended up being a candy cane chocolate mocha thing. I really don't like coffee flavour but I decided to suck it up instead of taking it back because the poor woman was so flustered already and the line up was building. Finally my parent's arrived and I was saved by their boosting power.
I stopped on the way home at a seniors home which was advertising a job about a week ago to ask if it had been filled yet. The receptionist didn't know and couldn't get a hold of anyone. I told her I'd call later but she "forcefully" insisted I fill out an application and give her my resume (which I happen to have on me since I had just come from an interview). I rushed that application and I'm pretty sure I won't get that job entirely because my application sucked so bad. On top of that the resume was crinkled from being at the bottom of my purse. That's okay though because that job was not my first choice anyhow.
The rest of the day consisted of studying at school for a lab exam in the evening (Sadly, I missed my soccer game). I had good intentions to study today but I found it very difficult to focus... job searching seems to be my biggest distraction lately. The exam went alright but I didn't study the literature enough... At least it's done now. Only one more lab write up to go until finals and eventually freedom.
BTW. The shaman who did my energy healing last night told me I should start journaling. Does blogging count? This is suppose to help me identify what triggers my emotions which seem to be on a rollercoaster lately (most between two extremes of anxiety: stress and excitement). I love healing sessions!! Free counseling.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Fairy Realm
On Saturday my boyfriend and I went to my Aunt's graduation from her energy healing class. She is now a certified energy healer! I've been to one of their classes before with some interesting results afterward. This is what happened this time:
I had only three ladies around me this time (last time I had 4 people, 3 women and a man). I closed me eyes and tried to relax on the table. I was feeling a lot of anxiety this time, and was having trouble getting my mind to relax at first. Once I did I started thinking about the rabbits I saw and thought about last time. I found myself looking out from under a tree in some park, as though I was a rabbit (from his point of view). I was watching a lady walk a small white dog. Then I went up the tree past a crow squawking and ended up back at the community center - sitting on the roof looking down onto the parking lot. I'm not sure if this was a series of random thought or if I was controlling it... anyways, it was time to open my eyes and hear what the ladies had to say.
The first one told me I was an old woman from biblical times in a past life. I suffered from leprosy and was outcast from society. The feeling of being outcast and unworthy was carried with me through all of my past lives (even one where I was a princess) until this day. It was still in me. She told me she had taken it out though.... I don't feel any different but I suppose I will begin making a concerted effort to be more positive toward myself as this seems to be a reoccurring theme in my interactions -" you need to be more confident, you have so much potential, believe in yourself, don't be so down on yourself", non of which I actually feel but apparently this is obvious to others.
The second lady expanded from the first and said she visualized me in a meadow with rays of sunshine shining down on me but I was not absorbing them, indicating to her that I needed to accept love into my heart and open my heart. She said there was a lack of energy in my heart chakra. Then she said that she felt I had digestive problems (haha, how did she know? did I accidentally fart? Pretty sure I didn't). She said this was because I was being too hard on myself and trying to be perfect which was not possible. I was trying to please everyone. Could this be some residual energy from my overworked summer - trying to please all my clients, two employers, my family, my boyfriend, and my friends? Stretching myself thin and feeling worn out? It happened recently, but since I quit that job I've felt much better and have made more effort to assert time to myself.
The third lady had an elegant British accent. I think it made her reading seem somewhat mystical (aside from the actual content she said). She had been positioned near my head (this is important fact for later comparison). She told me that she had received the feeling that I was not "human". That my spirit was not a human one but from another dimension. I had shown a fairy realm where things sparkled and generally looked pretty fairy like as I did. She told me I was trying too hard to be human as I had in my past lives as well and that I needed to accept my energy as what it was and embrace it. I needed to dance and be creative and bring my fairy energy into life because being human isn't all its cracked up to be. The lady then told me not to be disappointed that any partner I would ever meet would not be able to keep up with my energy because it was simply not of their world....
My Dad's immediate interpretation of this is that she's probably nuts. I thought it was definitely the most interesting reading! What was more interesting is that in my prior reading (during the summer), the man who had been near my head had began to cry (which apparently is unlike him) and told me he I had shown him my true self and it was so beautiful - he saw me transform into a butterfly. Interesting.... butterflies and fairies have many things in common....
What is my practical interpretation of this? Well, I have now been inspired to be a fairy for Halloween! Fun with makeup :-) (a more scary/mystical looking one vs. the stereptyped girly tinkerbell look).
The only theme I can really draw from these readings is that I need to work on self love more often and possible embark on a creative endeavor. They also told me to continue my spiritual practice, which I obviously intend to do.
I had only three ladies around me this time (last time I had 4 people, 3 women and a man). I closed me eyes and tried to relax on the table. I was feeling a lot of anxiety this time, and was having trouble getting my mind to relax at first. Once I did I started thinking about the rabbits I saw and thought about last time. I found myself looking out from under a tree in some park, as though I was a rabbit (from his point of view). I was watching a lady walk a small white dog. Then I went up the tree past a crow squawking and ended up back at the community center - sitting on the roof looking down onto the parking lot. I'm not sure if this was a series of random thought or if I was controlling it... anyways, it was time to open my eyes and hear what the ladies had to say.
The first one told me I was an old woman from biblical times in a past life. I suffered from leprosy and was outcast from society. The feeling of being outcast and unworthy was carried with me through all of my past lives (even one where I was a princess) until this day. It was still in me. She told me she had taken it out though.... I don't feel any different but I suppose I will begin making a concerted effort to be more positive toward myself as this seems to be a reoccurring theme in my interactions -" you need to be more confident, you have so much potential, believe in yourself, don't be so down on yourself", non of which I actually feel but apparently this is obvious to others.
The second lady expanded from the first and said she visualized me in a meadow with rays of sunshine shining down on me but I was not absorbing them, indicating to her that I needed to accept love into my heart and open my heart. She said there was a lack of energy in my heart chakra. Then she said that she felt I had digestive problems (haha, how did she know? did I accidentally fart? Pretty sure I didn't). She said this was because I was being too hard on myself and trying to be perfect which was not possible. I was trying to please everyone. Could this be some residual energy from my overworked summer - trying to please all my clients, two employers, my family, my boyfriend, and my friends? Stretching myself thin and feeling worn out? It happened recently, but since I quit that job I've felt much better and have made more effort to assert time to myself.
The third lady had an elegant British accent. I think it made her reading seem somewhat mystical (aside from the actual content she said). She had been positioned near my head (this is important fact for later comparison). She told me that she had received the feeling that I was not "human". That my spirit was not a human one but from another dimension. I had shown a fairy realm where things sparkled and generally looked pretty fairy like as I did. She told me I was trying too hard to be human as I had in my past lives as well and that I needed to accept my energy as what it was and embrace it. I needed to dance and be creative and bring my fairy energy into life because being human isn't all its cracked up to be. The lady then told me not to be disappointed that any partner I would ever meet would not be able to keep up with my energy because it was simply not of their world....
My Dad's immediate interpretation of this is that she's probably nuts. I thought it was definitely the most interesting reading! What was more interesting is that in my prior reading (during the summer), the man who had been near my head had began to cry (which apparently is unlike him) and told me he I had shown him my true self and it was so beautiful - he saw me transform into a butterfly. Interesting.... butterflies and fairies have many things in common....
What is my practical interpretation of this? Well, I have now been inspired to be a fairy for Halloween! Fun with makeup :-) (a more scary/mystical looking one vs. the stereptyped girly tinkerbell look).
The only theme I can really draw from these readings is that I need to work on self love more often and possible embark on a creative endeavor. They also told me to continue my spiritual practice, which I obviously intend to do.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Low self esteem days busted by... guilt?
Sometimes, as everyone has, I have a low self esteem day. Usually they come about out of thoughts of inadequacy for some reason - my two most common are "not pretty enough" (fairly common I think) or "came from a boring culture" (this probably arises from having a very eclectic group of friends, all who have some kind of background they can share - I represent the just Canadian, whatever that means). One way I've discovered to bust out of these spiralling downward type of thoughts is to think of my parents and then feel guilty... motivating me to think positively and thus allowing me to forget my grievances and be thankful for what I have. To deny my own beauty is to say to my my mom "mom your genetics are ugly!" which is obviously not the case. I come from a long line of good looking! To think I am from a boring culture is to tell my dad I am ungrateful for everything he's taught me and the experiences my family has had together. My parents are definitely not ugly, so how could any combination of them come out that way? Everyone is unique and I am no exception. I represent a combination of two different people's DNA, a miracle that it could happen at all. I grew up and had my own experiences just as my friend's did. My parents and family taught me what they know and what they've learned through their lives as Canadians. In conclusion, when I notice myself falling into a low self esteem cycle I think of my family and how they would feel if they knew I had those thoughts. It's like a kick in the butt - or a voice telling me to stop being so ungrateful and think of how thankful I am for my parents and how much I love them.
This thought has further intrigued me to wonder what the results of a study on the differences in self esteem in individualistic cultures and collectivist cultures are... a small amount of research in this area revealed that it seems as though collectivist cultures are more likely to avoid "self - enhancement" behaviours while individualistic cultures score higher in this area... hmmm is this blog evidence I come from a individualistic culture? Here a link to a text regarding cultural effect on personality, etc. HERE
This thought has further intrigued me to wonder what the results of a study on the differences in self esteem in individualistic cultures and collectivist cultures are... a small amount of research in this area revealed that it seems as though collectivist cultures are more likely to avoid "self - enhancement" behaviours while individualistic cultures score higher in this area... hmmm is this blog evidence I come from a individualistic culture? Here a link to a text regarding cultural effect on personality, etc. HERE
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Meant to SEA
A book I was reading about becoming psychic (hey, who doesn't want psychic powers? come on people) told me that in order to improve my intuition I should record moments in life where a divine hand seemed to be at work. This is the story of how I came to have Great Big Sea tickets for this October.
It all started a few weeks ago when I heard the song "When I'm up" on the radio. I had forgotten about Great Big Sea, seeing as they haven't produced many hits since I was about thirteen, but none the less was happy to hear an old song. Being on a "positive thinking" kick for quite some time now combined with a yearning to re-visit the east coast, the song rekindled some happy feelings and I decided to remember a few more of their songs, like Ordinary Day and Consequence Free. Oh how happy. So I downloaded them to my ipod, and before long decided I should search ticket master in the event that they might be touring... what are the chances? Pretty good actually - like 100%. There next concert is October 27th in Calgary. To my dismay, they were sold out. So I looked on eBay for some scalper tickets at a reasonable price but could only find some that were a bit too much for me to justify it. So sadly I decided it must not have been meant to be. This was about a few weeks ago.
A few days ago I was looking for a specific email and found it in my junk mail. I clicked the "move to inbox" option and my screen reloaded to the next junk email - opening a giant picture of Great Big Sea with huge letters reading "Presale tickets" and a password. I was confused and read further. It seems they made another concert on October 28th. The pre sale happened September 8th at 10am. WTF. Awesome. So I went on the computer at 9:55am yesterday morning and bought some Great Big Sea tickets. Thank God the next email in my junk folder happened to be that one or I never would have known of a second concert date, much less received the password for presale tickets and the date to buy tickets. Holy smokes, lucky me. It seems as though some higher power approves of me seeking out positive music. :-)
It all started a few weeks ago when I heard the song "When I'm up" on the radio. I had forgotten about Great Big Sea, seeing as they haven't produced many hits since I was about thirteen, but none the less was happy to hear an old song. Being on a "positive thinking" kick for quite some time now combined with a yearning to re-visit the east coast, the song rekindled some happy feelings and I decided to remember a few more of their songs, like Ordinary Day and Consequence Free. Oh how happy. So I downloaded them to my ipod, and before long decided I should search ticket master in the event that they might be touring... what are the chances? Pretty good actually - like 100%. There next concert is October 27th in Calgary. To my dismay, they were sold out. So I looked on eBay for some scalper tickets at a reasonable price but could only find some that were a bit too much for me to justify it. So sadly I decided it must not have been meant to be. This was about a few weeks ago.
A few days ago I was looking for a specific email and found it in my junk mail. I clicked the "move to inbox" option and my screen reloaded to the next junk email - opening a giant picture of Great Big Sea with huge letters reading "Presale tickets" and a password. I was confused and read further. It seems they made another concert on October 28th. The pre sale happened September 8th at 10am. WTF. Awesome. So I went on the computer at 9:55am yesterday morning and bought some Great Big Sea tickets. Thank God the next email in my junk folder happened to be that one or I never would have known of a second concert date, much less received the password for presale tickets and the date to buy tickets. Holy smokes, lucky me. It seems as though some higher power approves of me seeking out positive music. :-)
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Soul - Mates (in the australian way)
Ever meet people that you swear you must have known in another life? (assuming you can believe in reincarnation). Maybe you were friends when you were both cowboys in the frontier or something... or two dinosaurs flocking away from a T-rex together. You must hav been through an adventure together of some sort. Your spirit remembers them but your present body and mind does not. There's just a vaue feeling of familiarity, maybe an instant connection - easy conversation, a feeling of knowing and "caring" without really knowing too well.
I sometimes come across this feeling in my job. A co-worker or client I instantly connect with. For some reason it's usually someone older than myself. The reality of the present time is that we were born decades apart... we come from very different backgrounds and it would be unlikely we would ever meet or ever talk except for the circumstances. Somehow I have a sense or feeling of knowing them. Perhaps our souls are drawn to the same places somehow (like that movie with Will Smith - I am Legend). Or maybe we've had so many lives before it's impossible not to run into a soul-mate... Another theory is goes back to the one universe idea... we are all connected and at some deeper level are all one and the same unconditional love, God, energy, etc. It's a mystery.
In any case, shoutz out to all my soul-mates.
I sometimes come across this feeling in my job. A co-worker or client I instantly connect with. For some reason it's usually someone older than myself. The reality of the present time is that we were born decades apart... we come from very different backgrounds and it would be unlikely we would ever meet or ever talk except for the circumstances. Somehow I have a sense or feeling of knowing them. Perhaps our souls are drawn to the same places somehow (like that movie with Will Smith - I am Legend). Or maybe we've had so many lives before it's impossible not to run into a soul-mate... Another theory is goes back to the one universe idea... we are all connected and at some deeper level are all one and the same unconditional love, God, energy, etc. It's a mystery.
In any case, shoutz out to all my soul-mates.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Heart Strings
Ever since I went to Nova Scotia in February, I've had this little yearning in my heart to go back. I have a few friends who live there and each time I look at their pictures I feel a little tug. Halifax is such a nice place. I feel like there was so much to explore there and so many little adventures I didn't have time to go on. I just really enjoyed the culture there, the ocean, the ships, and the people are so nice (man, they know how to party!).
Even though I went in the winter when everything was closed I still liked it. Farewell Nova Scotia! If only airline tickets were cheaper to travel there. I can go somewhere tropical,or spend a whole week in Vegas for less...
Saturday, August 14, 2010
The Saskatoon Berry Farm
"Your berries are delicious but you're a fucking tool" - Dan to the guy with a Saskatchewan licence plate driving terribly.
This week was the longest week of my life. I lay in wait for my upcoming, well deserved vacation. And by "lay" I mean I worked my ass off, did a million errands, responded to tonnes of emails and planned more for my upcoming fun time. Every second seemed to take 3 hours to go by. On top of this my family is on vacation already and left me to take care of our spoiled brat pets... I didn't get more than an hour of sleep cumulatively any night this week. Only a few more days. Only a few more days. Staying in the moment is my challenge this week.
Today that challenge was a lot easier. We went to the Saskatoon berry farm near Okotoks and indulged in a relaxing afternoon picking berries and eating ice cream. The weather was beautiful, and the hype was built up by a series of events earlier this week. 1) I found some Saskatoon berries growing in the forest near my house while walking the dog - delicious. 2) the Saskatoon berries in my backyard finally became ripe two days after the fore mentioned event. It was fun. It was different. I heard about the farm from one of my client's at work (she's a senior citizen - they know all the good old fashioned down home fun places. So if you have a hankering for a good date place chat up a senior) a few eeks ago and have had berries on the brain since. Last night my grandma took us out to Grey eagle Casino for the buffet. Yet another day of indulgence. Even though I've literally only had about 24 hours of free time (cumulative)since yesterday I feel like I've finally had a bit of vacation (not including the pedicure and massage I got last week *sigh* but seriously).
This week was the longest week of my life. I lay in wait for my upcoming, well deserved vacation. And by "lay" I mean I worked my ass off, did a million errands, responded to tonnes of emails and planned more for my upcoming fun time. Every second seemed to take 3 hours to go by. On top of this my family is on vacation already and left me to take care of our spoiled brat pets... I didn't get more than an hour of sleep cumulatively any night this week. Only a few more days. Only a few more days. Staying in the moment is my challenge this week.
Today that challenge was a lot easier. We went to the Saskatoon berry farm near Okotoks and indulged in a relaxing afternoon picking berries and eating ice cream. The weather was beautiful, and the hype was built up by a series of events earlier this week. 1) I found some Saskatoon berries growing in the forest near my house while walking the dog - delicious. 2) the Saskatoon berries in my backyard finally became ripe two days after the fore mentioned event. It was fun. It was different. I heard about the farm from one of my client's at work (she's a senior citizen - they know all the good old fashioned down home fun places. So if you have a hankering for a good date place chat up a senior) a few eeks ago and have had berries on the brain since. Last night my grandma took us out to Grey eagle Casino for the buffet. Yet another day of indulgence. Even though I've literally only had about 24 hours of free time (cumulative)since yesterday I feel like I've finally had a bit of vacation (not including the pedicure and massage I got last week *sigh* but seriously).
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