Friday, June 15, 2007

Horoscope not helping

SO today I had a very full day. I woke up determined to ride my bike to Nevada Bob's to get my Dad a Father's Day gift, only to discover that my bike tires were flat. I then proceeded to search for an air pump to make my bike ridable once again. That took a good twenty minutes. Then I went to Nevada Bob's a bought some fancy pants golf balls (very original indeed). Then I biked home and realized that when you're twenty years old and in fairly good shape, going for a 15 minute bike ride isn't actually alot of exercise. Then my sister and I drove through the traffic hell that is calgary to get to Golf Town and buy a nice shirt for my dad as well. I've learned almost nothing from this trip except that in golf clothes, size 2 equals size 5 and Burger King has extremely salty fries. Later on when we arrived home we hd to get dressed up to go for a fancy dinner in Bragg Creek for my grandparent's annaversairy. Very nice restaraunt, good food, good service, the usual familiarity factor that plays into family dinners (lots of gossip and laughing at our own brand of humour) - not much else I have to say about that. Then I wanted to see my boyfriend whom I told a few days ago that I had friday off for us to hang out. Since he was busy earlier in the day, as was I, it didn't matter all that much that I didn't see him. When I got home from dinner he said "want to come over later?" and I said "um... later? (it's already late) I have to work tomorrow", but he was still "busy" and wouldn't tell me much about his day. I hate it when people do that. As if they have something to hide. I feel I've put every ounce of honesty I have on the line, right down to "o, i sat here and watched 'so you think you can dance' for the entire day, and literally did nothing. I ate a spoon of peanut butter and that was the highlight." I never don't say what I did because i've got nothing to hide, and I feel that by saying i did nothing it's pretty much just translates to "fuck off" or to avoid telling someone what I really did. I confronted him about that. I was angry and I'm somewhat glad I did, because I thought twice about being passive agressive. What if I just don't call him all day tomorrow and then when he calls (if he does) i just say i did nothing but am too busy to hang out. I really don't like that because when he acts like he's hiding stuff I feel like he is, then i feel bad for not having trust, but i also feel like I have a good reason. Then again it sounds ridiculous when I tell someone about it cause they just say "all he did was not call, or just not feel like conversing, and you're getting worked up" like i'm the one in the wrong. I don't know, I think sometimes I overanalyse things to the point of leaving myself in indecision. Anyways, my horoscope according to facebook says this: "Someone in your life wants a second chance. They know they screwed up, so give them one more shot. If they mess up again, you'll know their true colors." This could apply to several people in my life right now. From what I can see it's telling me to forgive but not forget and make my judgement if they don't learn... I do that too much already I think, is it right? I don't know. Sometimes I just wish I had started out as an asshole so it would be way easier to get angry at people now when I feel pissed. I have so many words, mostly angry, to spew out in brutal honesty, but too much restraint to do any of it. I need to get drunk.

1 comment:

Candy said...

i know it's not yesterday, but we can get drunk tonight if you want =)