Vacations

Man, I need a vacation. Or maybe I just need to move... somewhere far away and start all over. Why do I feel like this? I don't know. It could be the stresses of school. I've come to the conclusion that work in university is way more stressful if it doesn't seem necessary. In one of my classes it feels like I have an unnecessarily large work load... why can't i just learn the material and spit it out on a test like every other class? It's not like i don't learn anything that way, which is what some people claim. Why should i be punished for someone else's poor ability to learn via multiple choice testing strategies? This class requires me and a partner to make a lecture for the class on a given chapter (i have chapter 10). The lecture must include a PowerPoint presentation and an audience participation activity. I guess I have to read my book a few weeks in advance - pooooo! Then, the midterm is no ordinary midterm. It consists of three questions which the teacher has already posted on blackboard. The catch? They are essay questions, which the teacher expects to be perfect and in depth since we've had time to look over the questions in advance and " make outlines". She also suggests we meet with groups in the class and discuss the questions and answers. My crazy group just happen to be a bunch of keeners and people with only one or 2 classes this semester. The first meeting they already had a lot of research done. Since I was busy with other classes and midterms for that week I had just started reading the questions and basically felt like an idiot the whole time - not a confidence booster. Aside from this midterm research, and lecture thing, we also have a final project which we must soon start. It is to "train" a client on how to use something called the quiet eye in sports, then right a report on our findings. If i only had one or two classes this would be alright and possibly even fun, but i also have another class with a final project due as well as several more labs. It just feels like my brain is split into so many areas this semester its hard to keep track of school and the rest of life. So that's my vent for today. In other news... stress has also arisen in the friendship area of life. I was talking to some people i work with who feel the same as me . They work all day talking to people, training people, some go to school as well, and in the down time they just want to go home and relax. However, there are always other people (ie. friends) whose lives are different and would like your down time to be time spent with them. Sometimes they don't understand that you just want to sleep or sit at home alone and watch some good ol' TV. I totally understand that frustration. You don't want to answer the phone, you don't feel like explaining yourself all the time. This may also be the reason for reluctance to make long term plans (eg. committing to a party that happens next weekend, what if you don't feel like going then?) What's wrong with hanging out once every couple weeks? I imagine, as it is for me, that this becomes more frustrating when you have a boyfriend or girlfriend that you want to spend time with in your down time. Now you have the problem of trying to explain that in your tiredness you just want to go home and cuddle... you're under pressure to split your time, weigh your priorities and values, and in doing so run the risk of angering and/or even losing friends ( some of which need/demand more time than others). Solution? How 'bout combine friends and boyfriend for some of your free time - kill two birds with one stone. Easy right? As I have discovered it is easier said than done. Friends see you and your boyfriend as an item - or in less nice terms, as you with something attached that divides your attention and makes things "awkward". You see it as a chance for everyone to become friends and to join two opposing groups in harmony - this is my Utopian vision. But I won't jump into generalizations fully - this situation of course depends on the personalities of those involved. I enjoy having all my friends join together no matter who they are or what history we have. I believe awkwardness is what you make it - it depends on your perspective. For example, a lull in conversation, an awkward pause? or an opportunity to reflect on previous conversation or to go do a different task and give your mind a break? Being the third wheel, awkward feeling of being left out? or chance to spend time with your friend while they are happiest and see another side/influence in their life? Unfortunately I don't believe most people see things in the most "positive" light and because of this I believe they limit themselves in a lot of ways. It is frustrating to experience this barrier to my Utopian vision. haha Maybe I'm just too sensitive... that's my parent's criticism.