Tuesday this week was the only day that I felt the world had slowed down for me. Finally, all I wanted was some time to grieve my losses without life pulling me forward into everyday routine and hassle. I'll admit, I had tonnes of fun these last few weeks but somehow I still felt like I was being rushed... there was no time between exams and parties (all of a sudden a never ending stream of party invites I could actually attend and I haven't been out for months!). Yesterday I slept in, and aside from a physiology lab and a midterm exam lingering in the back of my mind, i managed to have an emotionally productive day. Aside from a bit of studying, my sister, her boyfriend and I watched a horror movie called "the strangers" (super scary, recommend watching in the dark). Then I watched Monday night's recording of Heroes. Then I had supper and went to my soccer game. I guess my mind was occupied with lighter things all day.
I also had a great philosophical discussion (mostly with my own mind and some with my mom) about life paths. It stemmed from a memory I had about a tarot card reading my friend and I did about 2 summers ago (the beginning of our stampede tradition). The lady told my friend that she would find a great job and be successful in it and that she should look into the oil industry. Then she told me that my friend would be there to support me while she was becoming successful because I would be going through a heartbreak. On one hand I feel like I screwed up my own fate, possibly unconsciously due to self fulfilling prophecy. Why did that lady put that in my mind? Was she really psychic? Is it just a coincidence? Or did she doom me unintentionally?
A more comforting answer I came up with is this: If in fact, the future is predetermined (provided it can be predicted by a psychic), then if what is predicted turns out to be true that must mean that you made all the right decisions on your quest into the future because you ended up in the exact place you were suppose to be. Que sera sera?
I once read a Bijan book called "effortless prosperity" and one of the stories in the book came to mind. He spoke of an ongoing off and on relationship he had. Each time they encountered the same problems and broke up, only to come back together remembering the good experiences they had. Eventually the stress became too much and he had to move on. He compared his relationship to a river intersecting his life path. In order to continue his path he needed to take the boat across the river. However, once he got to the other side he would decide to get back on the boat (return to his girlfriend). He realized he was only going back and forth on the river and that he was meant to move on in order to move forward. Once he got off the boat the final time, he was able to move down his path again. I like that comparison because it doesn't trivialize the events you shared with an ex. It was never a waste of time. You had to get on that boat and cross that river in order to continue, but you must choose to accept what is and move forward.
*In this paragraph I will describe how this situation can be related to physics* So if Bijan was on the boat, and he needed to cross the river to continue his path and the river was X meters long, then his displacement would be X meters at the other side. Therefore in his life, his relationship would have accounted for X amount of displacement on his life path. Because he kept staying on the boat his distance increased. He added nxX (n is the number of times he crossed the river) meters onto his life journey but because his ultimate displacement was still X, essentially he did not move forward in his life despite his added distance. *end*
So I think I could write a whole philosophy book on this. Maybe I will. I'll leave more for another day. My brain is starting to get ahead of me.
2 comments:
Your philosophical ideas directly coincide with what I am learning in philosophy.
We are talking about determinism. Something called fatalism also comes to mind, which is the belief that if we are all predetermined to have a certain life, why try? We will only end with the same result.
However I believe that although life may be predetermined, the actions that you engage in throughout plays a part. If you choose to do nothing, you will become predetermined to be nothing...so then determinism sort of is cancelled out...but sort of not.
Anyways, I like to see that you are dealing with everything that is going on in your life in a positive way. A break is always a good thing and you definitely deserve a break. Now that reading week is officially over you can look forward to almost a month off in three weeks!
Your philosophical ideas directly coincide with what I am learning in philosophy.
We are talking about determinism. Something called fatalism also comes to mind, which is the belief that if we are all predetermined to have a certain life, why try? We will only end with the same result.
However I believe that although life may be predetermined, the actions that you engage in throughout plays a part. If you choose to do nothing, you will become predetermined to be nothing...so then determinism sort of is cancelled out...but sort of not.
Anyways, I like to see that you are dealing with everything that is going on in your life in a positive way. A break is always a good thing and you definitely deserve a break. Now that reading week is officially over you can look forward to almost a month off in three weeks!
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