Drift Wood

Somtimes I get in a creative mood. Sometimes I don't for a long time. Foruntately this is a good day and not a sucky one so here's a poem. On of the very few "happy" poems I've written, especially recently.

I’m a prisoner of memories
Of cereal, cookies, and strawberries
Simple things you see, like cake
I like to eat it but I don’t bake
It don’t take much to satisfy me
I’m not shallow but I aint deep,
just enough you can’t touch your feet
you’re breathing just a little harder now
your heart’s speeding just a little faster now
your eyes are searching frantically
calm down, relax, cause it’s just me
Lighten up like buoyancy
I keep you floating, keep you joking
If you keep breathing you’ll stop choking
And your words will just start flowing
Like a sea. Then you’ll feel like it’s me.
My style’s care-free.
Relax. I drift like wood on a beach.

My sister rapped it. That sounded pretty "ill" <-- notice the lingo. haha

Just sad

I feel sad. Basically that's it. I feel guilt and sad and hurt. It's not fair. It's not fair for someone to mistreat you until you break and then try and fix it, is it? I don't know what I want. I'm just confused and sad. I miss him but I don't. It doesn't make sense... I just want to sleep. Maybe somehow it will all be over when I wake up.

Clinging

Fuck. I'm so pissed off. Oh yeah, Happy New Years btw. I don't understand... why do people not realize that the more they attempt to make you angry the more angrier you will become and the farther away from their ultimate goal they will get. I'm so bad at hurting people... it's like a slow painful death when it should be as quick as a guillotine. It's because I'm never sure of my own feelings. I'm caught between the grey area of a clean breakup and a fight between good friends. At least that's how it started. Now I've been pissed off yet again and am starting to see where I'm standing. It's like I've been wondering through fog looking for a distinct line and now I see one emerging... coming into focus. Maybe it's more like bad doctoring. Like keeping someone on life support in hopes that they may suddenly jump up in full swing ready to salsa dance the night away with only happiness and love in their heart. Maybe it's time to pull the plug on this one... and watch it fizzle away... it's always sad to lose someone but not as much as watching them suffer. I suppose I could blame it on my moral upbringing - pulling the plug is just as good as putting a bullet to their brain... I'm not one to go down without a fight, even in the most seemingly hopeless situation, and maybe this is the ONLY situation when it's ok to give up... just maybe.<