Clinging

Fuck. I'm so pissed off. Oh yeah, Happy New Years btw. I don't understand... why do people not realize that the more they attempt to make you angry the more angrier you will become and the farther away from their ultimate goal they will get. I'm so bad at hurting people... it's like a slow painful death when it should be as quick as a guillotine. It's because I'm never sure of my own feelings. I'm caught between the grey area of a clean breakup and a fight between good friends. At least that's how it started. Now I've been pissed off yet again and am starting to see where I'm standing. It's like I've been wondering through fog looking for a distinct line and now I see one emerging... coming into focus. Maybe it's more like bad doctoring. Like keeping someone on life support in hopes that they may suddenly jump up in full swing ready to salsa dance the night away with only happiness and love in their heart. Maybe it's time to pull the plug on this one... and watch it fizzle away... it's always sad to lose someone but not as much as watching them suffer. I suppose I could blame it on my moral upbringing - pulling the plug is just as good as putting a bullet to their brain... I'm not one to go down without a fight, even in the most seemingly hopeless situation, and maybe this is the ONLY situation when it's ok to give up... just maybe.<