Girls Don't Like Boys (Girls like cars and money?)

I was thinking about a few conversations I've had with female friends who are either in a serious relationship or have escaped from one. We were talking about the idea of trust and basically ranting about how certain experiences have caused stress in our relationships. It seems (in most cases) that guys and girls are not on the same page about what trust is. For men it seems, trust is "not cheating", ie. not sleeping with someone else - for them this is a verb, not an idea. The girls I've spoken to seem to emphasize truth and openess more than anything. When I guy goes out with one of his female friends, his girlfriend wants to hear " I am going to (or I went) [insert place here] with my friend (+ her/his name, possibly connection - from work, from school, etc.)" For some reason men feel the need to "disguise" their friend's gender, name, and where they're are going, even in the most trivial senerios. Instead of openly communicating what seems to the girlfriend to be pertanent information, guys will giggle, refer to their friend as "my friend", or just brush it off all together, especially in the afce of questioning. Why not just answer the questions? Male behavior comes across to many girls as being deceptive and this to girls is what destroys trust. It is upon or after being questioned or met with a girlfriend's untrusting glares and hostile attitude toward these vague answers that men get defensive and makes statements like "we're just friends! why are you acting like this? We didn't do anything!" Even if you didn't ask them what they did or not. It is here when it seems men do not understand what part of their answers have caused their girlfriends "jealous" rage (which can actually be explained as fear that her partner is lying due to his apparent "editing" or hiding of the truth). To girls it is plain and simple: If you have nothing to hide hide nothing. Why make a story for something that is "nothing". Why hide your friend's identity if you are indeed "just friends". What is the purpose of that? In my experience, guys have said that they felt the need to lie to avoid having their girlfriend get angry. Here's a bit of insite to all the men out there: WE ARE MORE MAD THAT YOU LIED BECAUSE IT INSIUATES THERE IS SOMETHING TO BE HIDDEN, THAN WE ARE ABOUT WHAT YOU ACTUALLY DID. For example, if Peter is going to visit his female friend Tracy who just bought a new house, Peter should tell his girldfriend "I am going to visit my firend Tracy because she just bought a new house." This is an upfront honest statement. The following statement will cause Peter's girlfriend to turn evil in a split second: "I am going out with.... a friend," naturally met with the reply,"who?", "no one, just a friend." "where are you going?" "Nowhere." "WHO ARE YOU GOING WITH?" "no one... just a friend... she just need some help..." "WHO's SHE? IT's WOMAN? WHERE ARE YOU GOING? WHAT DOES SHE NEED HELP WITH? WHY DOESNT SHE CALL ANOTHER FRIEND?" "Geeze, we are just friends... she just needs some help with some stuff...".

This type of situation may have different endings for different people. For those of us who are "bottlers" this situations sucks cause it eats from the inside out. A friend once told me that one of her greatest relationship lessons was the importance of being more open about her feelings. My friend's who I grew up with shared many of the same MOSTLY male friends with me, and it is my belief now that we were too much exposed to male behaviors and thoughts. For example, after spending time with many guys you might come to the conclusion that it is a man's dreaded fear to have to listen to a women's feelings. This may be true however it does not mean that women should not tell their feeling anyways. It was this thought pattern (combined with perosnality traits of course) that I believe supported the bottling method of dealing with anger and sadness. Instead of sitting down and pulling out the old "serious relationship discussion" or expressing hurt at the time it is "inflicted", we thought it might "scare him away" or cause himt o resent us. However, in the end it only enabled his behavior - leadsing him to believe we were not bothered or would not get upset. In the end, I can not except even his most honest statement, it is my problem and the relationship is not meant to be. If he can not give an honest statement it is now his problem and he may have to face those dreaded little words: "to the left, to the left." So gals, in the words of Aaron Carter " DOn't stress don't stress, don't stress, just tell him to the left left left...". Easier said than done.