Peripherals.

I had a heart to heart with a friend related to my previous blog. Both of us are in a similar situation, but our life goals put a different spin on it. She started by saying that she was happy to know that no matter what when she graduated she would have a job - even if it was just a personal trainer. I said I felt the exact opposite - how will I make money when the only jobs available are minimum wage? We determined this difference in perspective was do to my plan to move out and live independently... hopefully soon, while she was in no rush to give up the luxury of living at home. Then we started wondering what our careers will be. Did we study the right thing? What are we doing here now, only a few courses away from graduation...? I told her about how the pedorthist program was changed and now much less appealing, and how my family had questioned why (and if) I was even interested in that field. They seem "disappointed", like I haven't met their expectations, while my sister pursuing business is on a "true" path to success as a cunning business lady with a million options non of which come with a small pay cheque. We continued on about our perspectives on success, and being people of many interests, our confusion and consideration of other fields. She suggested I might like architecture and I confessed I had this idea before - and a bit of a dream to design buildings that promoted physical activity among cooperate people... it's an idea. It as good we had this discussion because I suppose I feel more free to consider other options and not force myself to pursue excellence in health care without further education (is that even possible?).

We also stepped back and looked at the big picture - that one where time isn't always running out - maybe enjoy the moment. Look back on the past and realize how far you've made it already because some people never get here. Lots of people forget the good things they've done and measure success by the number of failures they've had compared to a perfect zero - instead of the number of successes they've had. Then I had another conflicting thought about how spirituality might hinder success and make you strive less... and then I realize that that depends on your definition of success... am I caught in the money = success ideology? It's a tough world to live in when success is measured by how big your house is, how nice your car is, and if all your kids went to post secondary... what about being happy? Oh the confusion. What if I did decided to be a personal trainer for the rest of my life because I liked it? Would my family avoid telling their friends about the fate of their daughter? would they wonder where they went wrong? How come?

Anyways, on a separate note: I noticed that last night my fan was on. But I couldn't see it in the dark when i looked directly at it. I could only see it from my peripheral vision - probably because it was movement - changes in light and dark - and my periphery has more rods than cones to perceive that condition. the center of my retina has more cones - colour sensitive that require more light to work - which is why looking directly at the dark fan in the dark made it hard to see. A scientific explanation for something I probably wouldn't have noticed otherwise...